Art of being alone
So I have, over my short years, have found myself alone in public situations. There are many reasons for this to happen. I could just be alone, person X could be 30 minutes late, or person X could just not show up. I first ran in to these situations when I could transport myself around, AKA when I could drive. I can still remember the anxiety that I would feel as a million questions would fill my head. Am I that early, did I get the right location, is this the correct day. I use to think that I had a version of Monophobia that only apply to public situations.
I am glad to say that this no longer happens to me. I have mastered the Art of Being Alone(ABA). I started to reflect upon the concept. I have talked to lots of fiends who express a fear of being alone. I know people who spend countless hours and a small fortune trying to avoid being alone. I now understand that my fear of being alone in public was only "cured" once I became comfortable at living alone.
I believe that my fear of being alone in public is very closely tied to being alone at home. The first time I truly lived alone was after college. I moved 2 hours away from everyone I knew and my girlfriend of 4 years left me right before I graduated. I moved in to an apartment by my self and to this day I still do not know what my neighbors looked liked. Although I was a short 2 hour ride from people I knew, this trip was a good idea for hanging out for a night. So I began my life on my own.
I would find my self doing nothing at home or when I did leave the apartment I would go with a purpose and make the trip quick. If I were to go to a mall or a movie the anxiety would kick in and I would feel conflicted about what I was doing and why I was there. Instead of enjoying what I was doing I was nervous and wondering what other people were thinking.
My first steps in solving this problem was to eliminated dead time. The time I spent doing nothing I replaced with activities I used to enjoy during my downtime. My down time was the time I spent away from friends to clear my head. For me this was programming, taking pictures, watching movies and playing games. This was a good first step. I started to enjoy the time by myself.
I will write more later. The real point of this is that being alone is not something to be feared. It is an art or skill that can one can learn. There is a lot that one can learn about who they are and what they want in life. There is a sense of freedom that many people will never experience. Think about the last time you were on your way home with nothing to do or worry about.
I am glad to say that this no longer happens to me. I have mastered the Art of Being Alone(ABA). I started to reflect upon the concept. I have talked to lots of fiends who express a fear of being alone. I know people who spend countless hours and a small fortune trying to avoid being alone. I now understand that my fear of being alone in public was only "cured" once I became comfortable at living alone.
I believe that my fear of being alone in public is very closely tied to being alone at home. The first time I truly lived alone was after college. I moved 2 hours away from everyone I knew and my girlfriend of 4 years left me right before I graduated. I moved in to an apartment by my self and to this day I still do not know what my neighbors looked liked. Although I was a short 2 hour ride from people I knew, this trip was a good idea for hanging out for a night. So I began my life on my own.
I would find my self doing nothing at home or when I did leave the apartment I would go with a purpose and make the trip quick. If I were to go to a mall or a movie the anxiety would kick in and I would feel conflicted about what I was doing and why I was there. Instead of enjoying what I was doing I was nervous and wondering what other people were thinking.
My first steps in solving this problem was to eliminated dead time. The time I spent doing nothing I replaced with activities I used to enjoy during my downtime. My down time was the time I spent away from friends to clear my head. For me this was programming, taking pictures, watching movies and playing games. This was a good first step. I started to enjoy the time by myself.
I will write more later. The real point of this is that being alone is not something to be feared. It is an art or skill that can one can learn. There is a lot that one can learn about who they are and what they want in life. There is a sense of freedom that many people will never experience. Think about the last time you were on your way home with nothing to do or worry about.
